Top 5 Reasons a Third Death Star Wasn’t Built

May 25, 2012

Photo via xoque on Flickr under a Creative Commons license.

Today is the 35th anniversary of Star Wars’ release upon American pop culture.

Besides Darth Vader, the most iconic image from the movies has to be the Galactic Empire’s ultimate weapon, the Death Star. The first one destroyed Alderaan in Episode IV, and the second one almost wiped out the Rebel Alliance in Episode VI.

It’s a little-known fact, beyond what anyone has read on Wookiepedia and in dozens of novels, that the Empire was building a third Death Star. What happened? Why didn’t Luke, Han, and Princess Leia have to fight another superweapon? Oddly, it’s for many of the same reasons why we are struggling to build a stronger U.S. economy today.

Here are the top five reasons a third Death Star wasn’t built:

5.            It was hit with a class action lawsuit for not having high-enough railings around its superlaser.

4.            Lack of garbage disposal control panels by not passing a Free Trade Agreement with Sullust.

3.            Residents of Naboo sue to stop construction citing NAMPO -- Not Around My Planet’s Orbit.

2.            Not enough electricity. Imperial Environmental Protection Agency (IEPA) closed a number of coal-fired power plants in neighboring star systems.

And the number one reason a third Death Star wasn’t built…

1.            Ambush elections.

Thanks to @davidhauptmann and @Alianora84 for their help.

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